The language that follows that discovery explodes in the air. I hear you open the refrigerator to confirm to yourself that this lack of light has permeated the entire apartment. You shrug out of your coat and drop it to the floor, uncaring of the dirt and clutter it now lay amongst.
<\/o:p><\/div>\nYou find the bottle of scotch and slam cupboard doors seeking a glass. There are none. They lay in a
disordered mess of unwashed utensils still awaiting attention on the food scrap cluttered kitchen bench.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI hear you curse as you stagger. The booze you\u2019ve been consuming for hours rattles your movements and makes them disjointed.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nYou sit heavily in the easy chair uncaring of the scattered and dirty clothing that cushions your weight.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nYou unscrew the lid of the scotch bottle and take several satisfying gulps.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nThe anticipation makes me quiver now.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI have waited so long for this.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nThe cigarette lighter grants you a drag of the nicotine that is but one thing on your list of addictions.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nThe clock ticks over again and moves time relentlessly forward.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nThe bathroom awaits your imminent arrival and you curse again at your now shaking hands as you seek out your ever-present stash of heroin. You scream in rage and frustration when you finally acknowledge that there is none to be found.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI hear you slamming the walls with your now white-knuckled fists.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI reach across and flick off the power override switch. I illuminate the apartment.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nIt takes brief seconds for you to lurch back into view.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cMelody? Why the fuck didn\u2019t you tell me you were here? What the hell! When did you get back?\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cI discharged myself from the hospital.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cOh. Good. This place is a mess. It needs cleaning.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cYes, Charles. Yes, it does.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI watch you nod your head, pleased at my response. <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nYou check your wallet, quickly counting the bills waiting inside. You confirm your decision, \u201cI <\/span>need to go out. Fix me something to eat. I won\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cWhy do you need to go out again? It\u2019s raining.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI watch you glare at me for daring to question you. \u201cI need a fix. I\u2019m heading to see Freddy.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cThere\u2019s no need. I stopped by and saw him on the way home. I wanted to give you a surprise.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nYou smile for the first time. \u201cWell, now. That\u2019s fine. That\u2019s good.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cDo you want me to get it?\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nYou now wear your frustrated look. \u201cFuck yes. Of course. Hurry up.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cSorry. It\u2019s a little hard to walk with my ribs strapped.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cYou\u2019re always sorry. You\u2019re pathetic!\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI access the bedroom and return with his fix, and watch as he draws it up and applies the tourniquet to his upper left arm.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cYou broke my jaw again, and two ribs this time.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nYou glare at me as I dare to disturb your concentration, \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t aggravate me like you do. You know you asked for it.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nThe smack hits you, and I watch as your pupils dilate. The sickly smile that you now wear is most unattractive.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI wait.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nYou look suddenly startled. I watch the confusion on your face turn to fear \u2026 and then a moment of understanding colors your now bulging eyes. \u201cFuck! Fuck, Melody! What did you d\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI wait.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nYou make a gargled choking noise as you begin to foam at the mouth.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI wait for five minutes and then check for a heartbeat \u2026 I smile \u2026 there is none.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI need to be certain that reviving you is not possible. Fifteen minutes should do it.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI punch in a number on my iPhone.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201c911. What is the nature of your emergency?\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cOh, God \u2026 help me, please! Please! I\u2019ve just found my husband. He\u2019s not breathing. Please \u2026 I think he\u2019s overdosed.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nThe kind operator took my address, \u201cOkay. Stay calm. I have paramedics on the way.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n\u201cHurry! Hurry, please, please hurry.\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI turn off the lights and sit within darkness\u2019s velvet cloak. My iPhone torch casts a spotlight on your rapidly cooling body.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI smile. <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nThe rigid look of fear on your now strictured face brings me comfort. \u201cDid you like my little surprise, Charles?\u201d<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI hear the sirens approaching.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nI laugh in delight as the heady rush of adrenaline-fuelled relief floods my system.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\nThe dawn light is just filtering through the balcony windows. Soon now I\u2019ll have no need to seek the comfort of darkness.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n <\/p>\n
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